A topic close to my heart. I've also studied it, lived it, and even hosted a podcast for two years on it (The COMEBACK Coach). Listening to your own podcast episode now...
Hey Mike, thanks for the comment! I appreciate your words - I'll be honest I'm a bit nervous, but I'll be interested to know your thoughts given your expertise in the area!
Nervous? Not of my thoughts I hope. It's not often I'll listen all the way through a podcast, or even an audio book for that matter. But both of you kept me listening. Well structured, well prepared show. Heavy duty for the person-in-the-street. Lots of terminology (though well explained) that might leave the uninitiated cross-eyed. But for those with an academic backgound such as both of you - or even the well read non-academic with a special interest - the entire show was engaging. At one point I was prompted to think of some of the 12-step recovery verses, especially the one on seeking serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Highlights from your discussion for me included: "emotional states are temporary"; and "it's a process - and a process has a start, middle, and end." I'd like to restack your post. More people can benefit, whatever their level of interest, from such discussions on resilience.
The feedback is so helpful - I'm glad that this episode resonated! I'm curious if you recall which part led you to thinking about 12-step verses? To the serenity prayer - I think acceptance is such an important part of being resilient. I am grateful for your restack!
Great episode guys. In response to your question about community, I think it’s tough at least, in my experience to accept help a lot of times. Living where I do, we have 3 kids and no family nearby, so it causes us to be very self-reliant, but we probably take that further than necessary. I don’t think it has to do much with social media, but I really cannot judge that myself.
Ashley, you brought up two great points that I think could be explored for an entire episode or more:
1. Willingness vs Willfulness: I think it’s so interesting to think of stasis as an illusion. Basically that we are in the river of life and our environment is ever changing. The stance of willfulness impedes our ability to thrive along that flow of life, whereas willingness to experience, adapt (and fail) really allows us to enjoy and succeed much more often. It also provides a perspective that allows us to view the changes that are out of our control in context, so that we don’t see them as personal failures.
2. Recognizing that you’re stressed. You mentioned recognizing stress but not allowing it to dictate your day. Oh man, I could talk about this for hours. I have been working for a while with a professional coach and therapist. One of the major breakthroughs that I have had is recognizing when I (or anyone I am with) is in a stress behavior. We use Birkman assessments to identify what our different behaviors are. This give us a great sense of how to maneuver through a conversation in a way that is productive, or when to pause a situation and determine where stress is coming from so that we can regulate it and then move forward.
A topic close to my heart. I've also studied it, lived it, and even hosted a podcast for two years on it (The COMEBACK Coach). Listening to your own podcast episode now...
Hey Mike, thanks for the comment! I appreciate your words - I'll be honest I'm a bit nervous, but I'll be interested to know your thoughts given your expertise in the area!
Nervous? Not of my thoughts I hope. It's not often I'll listen all the way through a podcast, or even an audio book for that matter. But both of you kept me listening. Well structured, well prepared show. Heavy duty for the person-in-the-street. Lots of terminology (though well explained) that might leave the uninitiated cross-eyed. But for those with an academic backgound such as both of you - or even the well read non-academic with a special interest - the entire show was engaging. At one point I was prompted to think of some of the 12-step recovery verses, especially the one on seeking serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Highlights from your discussion for me included: "emotional states are temporary"; and "it's a process - and a process has a start, middle, and end." I'd like to restack your post. More people can benefit, whatever their level of interest, from such discussions on resilience.
The feedback is so helpful - I'm glad that this episode resonated! I'm curious if you recall which part led you to thinking about 12-step verses? To the serenity prayer - I think acceptance is such an important part of being resilient. I am grateful for your restack!
No worries Alex. I don't recall specifically. I do recall thinking at one point:
theoretical > experiential > my experience > dependancy to sobriety > AA > "what else helped?" > serenity prayer.
Great episode guys. In response to your question about community, I think it’s tough at least, in my experience to accept help a lot of times. Living where I do, we have 3 kids and no family nearby, so it causes us to be very self-reliant, but we probably take that further than necessary. I don’t think it has to do much with social media, but I really cannot judge that myself.
Ashley, you brought up two great points that I think could be explored for an entire episode or more:
1. Willingness vs Willfulness: I think it’s so interesting to think of stasis as an illusion. Basically that we are in the river of life and our environment is ever changing. The stance of willfulness impedes our ability to thrive along that flow of life, whereas willingness to experience, adapt (and fail) really allows us to enjoy and succeed much more often. It also provides a perspective that allows us to view the changes that are out of our control in context, so that we don’t see them as personal failures.
2. Recognizing that you’re stressed. You mentioned recognizing stress but not allowing it to dictate your day. Oh man, I could talk about this for hours. I have been working for a while with a professional coach and therapist. One of the major breakthroughs that I have had is recognizing when I (or anyone I am with) is in a stress behavior. We use Birkman assessments to identify what our different behaviors are. This give us a great sense of how to maneuver through a conversation in a way that is productive, or when to pause a situation and determine where stress is coming from so that we can regulate it and then move forward.
Thanks again for the great content!