Dealing with perception and facts - in my line of work, there is a technical and a relational aspect to many decisions. Most of the relational aspects have to do with being included on design teams. When discussing this with my professional coach, she will often ask me to go through an exercise of "what do we know to be true?".
I state my perception of my experience, then go through what I actually know to be true. More often than not, I find that most of the anxiety or negative thoughts I have were based on perception only; many of which are proven wrong in the long run.
I can understand that - I'm curious if it ever happened that what you knew to be true wasn't accepted by others on a design team? If so, what would happen then?
I think you are hitting on another topic altogether, which is how to overcome differences in design decisions. What I am talking about here, is basically failing to achieve an outcome (in this case, being selected for a design team) and subsequently assigning a perception of myself to the person making the decision.
In these cases, I break that perception down and decide what I know to be true vs assumptions I am making based on my point of view. I find it very helpful.
If you get into a theory of knowledge discussion about what "I know to be true" it will go on forever, but we have to use the tools we have to the best of our ability, and in an honest manner.
Perception is everything. It shapes our reality, our choices, and the way we move through the world. Two people can experience the exact same moment—one sees possibility, the other sees defeat. One sees love, the other sees rejection. Not because the world changed, but because their perception did. And that means we hold more power than we realize. The moment we shift our perception, we shift our entire life.
Hey Amy, I really appreciate your detailed response! We use a lot of these in helping to challenge thinking in our therapy sessions. I see that how we frame the questions or thoughts is so important, and when we get stuck sometimes it is because of how they are framed.
Dealing with perception and facts - in my line of work, there is a technical and a relational aspect to many decisions. Most of the relational aspects have to do with being included on design teams. When discussing this with my professional coach, she will often ask me to go through an exercise of "what do we know to be true?".
I state my perception of my experience, then go through what I actually know to be true. More often than not, I find that most of the anxiety or negative thoughts I have were based on perception only; many of which are proven wrong in the long run.
Hey Andrew,
I can understand that - I'm curious if it ever happened that what you knew to be true wasn't accepted by others on a design team? If so, what would happen then?
I think you are hitting on another topic altogether, which is how to overcome differences in design decisions. What I am talking about here, is basically failing to achieve an outcome (in this case, being selected for a design team) and subsequently assigning a perception of myself to the person making the decision.
In these cases, I break that perception down and decide what I know to be true vs assumptions I am making based on my point of view. I find it very helpful.
If you get into a theory of knowledge discussion about what "I know to be true" it will go on forever, but we have to use the tools we have to the best of our ability, and in an honest manner.
Perception is everything. It shapes our reality, our choices, and the way we move through the world. Two people can experience the exact same moment—one sees possibility, the other sees defeat. One sees love, the other sees rejection. Not because the world changed, but because their perception did. And that means we hold more power than we realize. The moment we shift our perception, we shift our entire life.
This is so true! Shifting perspective can be so hard, though! Do you have any helpful tips or tricks that you use?
I do!! I work on this daily and have this printed out for me that I re read each day! Hope it inspires 😊
1. Ask: “What else could be true?”
When you’re locked into one narrative, challenge it.
• Instead of: “They don’t care.”
• Try: “Maybe they’re overwhelmed too.”
2. Zoom Out
Imagine you’re watching your life from above.
• What does this moment look like in the grand scheme?
• Will this still matter in a week, a year, a decade?
3. Flip “Why is this happening to me?” to “What could this be teaching me?”
This changes you from victim to student.
Growth often hides in hard places.
4. Interrupt the loop
Get up. Change rooms. Splash water on your face. Step outside.
Physical movement can shake loose mental patterns.
5. Use “yet”
“I don’t understand this” → “I don’t understand this yet.”
Instant mindset shift toward growth.
6. Borrow someone else’s lens
Imagine how a child, mentor, or even your future self might view your current situation.
This detachment softens your grip on the problem.
7. Change the question
Instead of “What if this goes wrong?”
Ask: “What if this works out?” or “What if this is exactly what I needed?”
8. Name what’s still true
When your mind is spiraling, list 3 things that are still true and safe.
• “I’m breathing.”
• “I’m not alone.”
• “This feeling will pass.”
Hey Amy, I really appreciate your detailed response! We use a lot of these in helping to challenge thinking in our therapy sessions. I see that how we frame the questions or thoughts is so important, and when we get stuck sometimes it is because of how they are framed.
Completely agree! I appreciate your responses and enjoy your articles and podcast. Your wife and you have great banter!