How to Manage Stress When the World Feels Out of Control

How to Stay Calm, Set Boundaries, and Protect Your Mental Health Amid Chaos

Hey Readers,

I don't usually write on a Sunday, but this week was rough, and I want to clear some space in my mind for next week. If you've paid attention to the news, widely broadcasted are the continued, extreme changes at the federal level and two significant transportation disasters. Here are a few that were particularly troubling for me: a confusingly communicated pause of federal funding obligations, federal workforce layoffs, and TWO plane crashes that resulted in 74 deaths.

The federal changes alone are stressful as they are so wide sweeping, radical and confusing; the January 30th collision of an American Airlines jet and Army Blackhawk helicopter was simply tragic and devastating; Friday came to a close with the deaths of a mother and her child, four crew and an individual in their car resulting from a medical transport plane crashing into a Northeast Philadelphia neighborhood.

Events like these wreak havoc on your sense of safety, certainty, and predictability. I've heard this said from many people this week. In fact, over the last two weeks, I've spoken a lot with my patients about the recent changes in our government. Whether you are in favor of these changes or not, I think it is important to acknowledge that there are a lot of them, and they've come out overwhelmingly fast.

I want to take a moment to say that if you've felt overwhelmed and distressed like you can't keep up with or stand to listen to/watch the news, or if you've felt depressed, anxious, and angry, you're not alone. To this last point, many people I’ve spoken with have reported feeling this way since the election: alone, overwhelmed, and helpless. I think these feelings can be extremely disabling when they come about and can make you feel as though the world around you is on fire.

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In writing today, I want to share some tips and skills that I've found helpful. Many of these things you probably are already doing. If you are, that is great! I hope that there is something new for you today.

1. Focus on controlling your breathing - when you're stressed and overwhelmed, it is easy to forget you can control your breathing. Working in therapy for so long, I've found that many people leave their breathing on autopilot rather than being more conscious and aware of it. A technique I really like is the Four Square Breathing (I just learned that the Navy SEALS use this skill!). This is where you breathe in slowly using your diaphragm for four seconds (imagine breathing in so your belly pushes out), holding your breath for four seconds, slowly exhaling for four seconds, and then holding that for another four seconds before repeating. Many people find that practicing this for 5-10 minutes can help them feel more relaxed. Of course, if you have any respiratory, cardiovascular, or other medical conditions, consult with a healthcare professional before trying this exercise.

   

2. 5-4-3-2-1 - In this technique, you use your different senses to help decrease stress and distress. I like doing this technique outside, but it can be done anywhere. Using your sight, start by noticing 5 different things. You don't need to spend much time on them; you label them in your mind as you go. Next, identify four other things you can feel. These could be things you feel with your hands, but also with your feet, back, arms, legs, really anywhere on your body! After this, identify three things you can hear. Try closing your eyes for this one and tune into the sounds you hear. After this, identify two things you can smell, followed by one thing you can taste. This technique can help ground you when you feel extremely anxious, distressed, or panicked.

3. 20x20x20 - I like this one because it forces you to be active. Do 20 jumping jacks, 20 sit-ups, and 20 push-ups. Usually, you wouldn't find me busting these out unless it's part of a workout. However, movement can help to decrease muscle tension. Doing something like this also allows you to take your mind off of the thing making you anxious. Exercise is known to have positive effects on mood and stress levels. As before, if you have any physical limitations, injuries, or underlying health concerns, consult a medical professional before engaging in physical activity.

4. The Birds Still Fly - this is one that I came up with, and I've found it helpful to reframe my current experience. Even in the most challenging times, finding what is consistent is helpful. When my world feels on fire, I focus on the birds in my yard. They are always there, whether it is hot or cold, sunny or shady, and they're there regardless of who is in our government. The same goes for the wind through the trees and the clouds in the sky. I intentionally take 5 minutes to listen and watch, trying to notice everything I can about them. It helps to pair this with the first skill.

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Ideally, the above skills help you feel more grounded and less immediately distressed. After this, it is important to help yourself become more oriented to your own life and less focused on what is happening elsewhere. Getting yourself out of the thought spiral only to return to it will lead to more distress and a return to fight-or-flight. These skills are meant to help you re-orient by setting boundaries for yourself. These boundaries help you to limit unwanted or unnecessary exposure.

1. Limit your media and social media intake. Suppose you've been binging news like me. In that case, it is important to recognize that continuing to focus on the news will open that door to distress. Set a limit for yourself, whether 15, 20, or 30 minutes. Beyond that, turn off the news.

2. If you struggle to do number one, it is time to immediately put down the phone, store the tablet, or turn off the TV. Get a cold glass of water or make a hot cup of tea. Grab a snack. Do this without technology by you. Don't return to your phone until you've drank your drink and cleaned up your glass or cup.

   

3. Focus on media literacy. Over these last two weeks, events happened quickly. It takes a while for news media to get a story and accurately report it. Reporters' understanding evolves as they get a better grasp of the story. Sometimes, what is first reported is false or not the whole story. Look for information on multiple news or media sources; don't rely only on one source. Hold off on deciding anything until you have a complete picture.

4. Avoid social media like the plague. Although you might be used to getting information on Facebook or X, what's there is not news. As well, other people's opinions and thoughts are not news. If you haven't considered it, maybe now is the time to delete these apps from your phone or device.

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After you've worked to set boundaries around your media usage, it's time to focus on what you have in your control. Importantly, you don't have control over anyone or anything but yourself. You control your behaviors/actions, words, perceptions/thoughts (for the most part), and what you focus your attention on. Here are some things you can do:

1. Do some self-care: think about your daily or weekly self-care tasks. Have you brushed your teeth, clipped your nails, showered?

2. Get social - but not on social media. That's not true socializing. Get coffee with a friend. Donate time at a shelter/food bank. Join a group or club. For example, I just found out about a craft beer-making club in my town that I'd like to check out with weekly meetings.

3. Do a brain dump - write down all the thoughts in your mind so you're not carrying them around with you anymore.

4. Create a list of the things that ARE in your control - these are the things you can immediately address. In my previous article Breaking the Cognitive Triad: How Negative Thoughts Shape Our View of Failure I gave examples of being caught in a negative thought spiral, which can pull us even father away from focusing on the things in our control. As well, toward the end I included some helpful prompts that I like to ask myself when I’m stuck.

5. Create a list of the things that AREN'T in your control. If there's a situation that feels overwhelming, taking the opportunity to journal can help you look at it a different way.

6. Practice radical acceptance of the things that we can't change. This means actively working to let go of what you cannot change to make room for what you can. It is about actively working on accepting your current emotions and thoughts, as uncomfortable as they may be, while at the same time practicing healthier ways of coping, communicating, and being in the world.

7. Create a list of your top 5-10 to-dos. Get to work on them.

   

8. Set timers for things that feel unmanageable. If you feel too overwhelmed to complete a task, don't stop yourself from starting something. Although you may only manage 5 minutes, those minutes are productive and bring you closer to your overall goal.

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These approaches and skills will ideally help you through these challenging times. For anyone reading, I’m curious to know what has helped you through these tough times. Chime in below with what you’ve found helpful!

Remember, none of these things will change what IS happening politically. By grounding ourselves, setting healthy boundaries, and focusing on what we can control, we can avoid staying in fight-or-flight mode. This allows us to then become the more objective, critical-thinking, and compassionate humans that can allow us to make more effective changes in the world. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and the more practice we get with managing our distress, the better. I hope these skills help you stay afloat and out of that heightened state. You are not alone. The world might feel chaotic, but you are resilient. These moments of overwhelm don’t define you—how you respond to them does. Remember: even in uncertainty, you have control over how you move forward.

This post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support and are in the U.S., you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or text 'HOME' to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. If you are outside the U.S., please seek out local crisis services.

If you are interested in coaching or counseling, please feel free to visit our practice, Gainesville Psychology Group

Thank you for reading!

Alex